The first thing to remember about being a valley girl is that valley boys are sensitive types. Not sure what star sign they are but rest assured girls these Ponty boys need careful handling.
Now the second
thing to think about when trying to pull a valley boy is to
take care of your appearance. OK, so after 10 pints of Worthy
Best you all look the same but think about the early days.
Before the game, during for some, and certainly after for the
first few beers, it is essential that your average valley boy
sees a vision of loveliness before him. He might stumble on a
graphic description of the Western Stormers backrow
combination if you scare him by being ugly. He may choke on
his beer or pork scratchings. Imagine the embarrassment if his
wife turns up and he's got scampi fries all down his best polo
- this is how you should try to look --------->
More free advice:
Always be ready, eager and willing, although if you want to tease, then play hard to get for about 5 mins. Longer than this and he'll just get bored so don't overdo it girls! And don't forget that his drunken, insulting lecherous behaviour is just plain "kooky". He's really a lovely guy and if his wife appears remember to vanish instantly or at the very least jump onto his best friend. Let's not forget the wives though - wives who stay at home doing the dishes and other woman things you also have a part to play...
Always remember that a day out with the boys is no easy thing for your man to do. He works hard all week and needs his freedom. Don't try and stop him going anywhere at all with the boys. He needs the male bonding that only a top quality lap-dancing bar can provide. Encourage him to go out. You can get even more ironing done by the time he returns. After all he can't go out tomorrow if you haven't finished the washing and got him another shirt clean and ready. Saturdays are a testing time for your man so don't forget that on Sunday he needs you to be extra special. Don't mention anything he might not have explained properly last night. And remember many boys will take bright red lipstick out and draw lip-shapes all over your man's collar just for a laugh. What he needs right now is a nice big cup of tea and a glass of freshly squeezed, pure, orange juice. Don't turn the radio up too loud - you can cook his dinner in silence this once. Make sure that he's washed and clothed and looking lovely for the boys down the club for that Sunday afternoon re-cap on last nights exploits and be thankful he let's you keep the heating on when he's out. You know you won't find a better one!
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